


Memories

by black_dipped_roses



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: And it was beautifully depressing like a street car named desire, Angst, I put this up like eight times, I should not be allowed to listen to Panic, I was crying but Ao3 made me mad, I'm Sorry, Lots of Angst, M/M, Neil Gaiman quotes, Really this is sad I am so sorry, This sadness is not how I wanted to start my Saphael kick, dammit Ao3, holy shit, this is sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-01
Updated: 2016-08-01
Packaged: 2018-07-25 13:11:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7534012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/black_dipped_roses/pseuds/black_dipped_roses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been years since Simon last saw Raphael. It's been years since that fateful day. It's been enough time that Simon decides he could start to move on. He begins with regrets.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Memories

**We were never loves**

"Rafa, you smiled!" Simon practically yelled when Raphael smiled at some insignificant rambled pun ruining the calm mood that had settled between the two.

**And we never will be now**

"Simon betrayed us," Raphael's face was closed off, but his eyes held a hurt much deeper than the small amount of time they had together should have allowed.

**I do not regret that**

"Are you okay Simon?" Clary asked him as they drove to the institute. Simon simply nodded, not trusting his voice.

**However I regret the conversations we never had**

"That's hilarious!" Simon smiled, "I can't wait to tell . . ." "Who, Simon?" "No one, Clary, no one."

**The time we did not spend together**

"Anytime something happens you always look like you're looking for someone, Simon," Clary sighed, "It doesn't matter if there's a threat or if someone told a bad joke. You're always looking. Who are you looking for Simon."

**I regret that I never told him that he made me happy when I was in his company**

"Lily, please let me talk to him. I- he-" Simon stuttered tears falling freely from his eyes. "You betrayed us, Simon. But more than anything you betrayed him. He won't ever be the same. And that's your fault."

**The world was better for him being in it**

"Simon, I'm so sorry. I know he, meant a lot to you."

**These things alone do I now regret:**

"Raphael," Simon cried without pause for an entire day before falling into an unsystematic pattern of sobs.

**things left unsaid**

"Clary, I've never smiled more than I did when I was with him," Simon whispered in her ear as she hugged him.

**and he is gone**

"I'll never see him again," Simon began to sob once more.

**and I am old**

"How many years must go by before this starts to hurt less?" No one could give him an answer.

He didn't expect one.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Comments and kudos are much appreciated! Please comment! And I'm so, so sorry for the angst! My Saphael heart is hurting!


End file.
